Thursday, February 28, 2008

Black & White

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

What we learn

A couple years ago, I read a book called Walking On Water. It's about creativity and the arts. The author's theory is that all people are born creative. Then as we grow older, we are taught how to fear. As we master the art of fearing, our creativity starts to dwindle. Then you often end up with a person at 26 who wouldn't dare try to paint a picture or write a story. "It would be so stupid."

I'm starting to develop my own theory about walking with God. I know a lady who grew up very alone. However, she would take walks with Jesus and hang out with him in the mango trees. As a child, her intimacy with the Lord was more intense and real than most adults will ever experience in their maturity.

I think that if children were to grow up without outside influences, in a vacuum of sorts, they would all have that deep intimacy with Jesus that would last into adulthood. They would be people who could witness miracles, have visions, and see his glory day to day. Now, I know, we're all born sinful. But, pretend a child is introduced to Jesus and then just allowed to experience him as a child might - fearlessly, doubtlessly, full of life and wonder.

We learn how to fear. We learn how to proceed cautiously. That's good for some things in life. I would want a child to act that way around a rushing river, for example. But, how sad that it translates into how we approach Jesus. My friend, as a child, had the chance to sprint full speed ahead into the wild life with Jesus. She's still running faster than ever and knows him more than anyone else I can think of.

I think about these things as I wonder how to raise Abel. I hope that somehow I can let his child-like faith and imagination take him so close to our fascinating God. I hope I never train that abandonment out of him.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Daddy's away

I've been a mommy for 5 weeks now. Fortunately, I've avoided the baby blues. All around things have been good. But, there has been one constant wonder in my mind. "What am I supposed to be feeling right now?" Do I love him enough? Do I love him like other mommies love their babies? A lot of times I don't feel the deep bond to him that I thought was instinct.

Rob's been away now for 3 days. He's in Washington D.C. with the Favor of God crew for Uganda Lobby Day. Friday I took him and Matt to the airport, got home, and instantly missed him like crazy. We've been apart before, but this time was different. Having sweet Abel sitting in my lap made me miss Rob more. He is 3/4 Rob, you know. He looks just like him except for his toes. Those chubby guys are mine.

Over the last couple of days, I just miss Rob more. But, Rob's absence has done a funny thing. It's brought me closer to my son too. I don't really know why. I feel a stronger bond. He's more precious. My love is deepening.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

More of the same cuteness

You know it'll be a while before I stop posting pictures of Abel almost every time. You can't blame a mommy for wanting to share her cutie with the world!

We work well together.

Best Friends

You're so funny, Daddy.

Just in case you think we're not feeding our son enough. This should put your mind at ease.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Abel stuff, again

Last night Rob was up late with Abel. He ended up sleeping a grand total of 4 hours. What a great Valentine's gift to me! Tonight it's my turn. Abel's all wrapped up and finally sleeping. But, I do have to wait until he's sleeping deeply enough. For some reason anything can wake him up at night. During the day a plane could fly one inch above his head and he'd be forever lost in dreamyland. One of these days he'll figure it out.

Lately Abel has been doing a few new cute things. As I tell my friends about the great news, I realize that these events can't possibly be as interesting and ground breaking to them as they are to us. But, we make them listen anyway. They have to, right?...they love us, and love isn't always exciting!

Here are a few things that I decided are amazing to new parents and just plain ordinary or gross to most normal people:

1. The right color poop and a good quantity of it in the diapers.

2. Burps and farts from baby. That means a lot less crying from baby.

3. Little sounds that weren't there yesterday. I crack up laughing every time Abel tries to talk to me. It's so stinkin' cute.

4. The smiles. Oh, the smiles. He can keep me entertained for as long as he likes with those little guys.

You know what. I quit with this list. Everything is amazing. You don't want to hear it all. Yay for babies.

Saturday, February 09, 2008


What's up, Daddy? What do you want?

A kiss?

Daaaaaad...that was so embarrassing!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

What's Normal

Rob and I keep asking each other, "When is life going to seem normal again?" I'm pretty excited for when that day comes. I'm guessing it'll be a couple weeks at least. Maybe all you parents out there are laughing and yelling at the computer screen, "Life will never be normal again!"

Right now I never really know what the day holds. I have some responsibilities that weigh lightly on my shoulders. But, they never seem to get taken care of, so they begin to weigh not so lightly. I'm trying to enjoy every moment with my new baby while I begin to let real life slowly show its face again. I'm afraid of putting real life before Abel, so maybe that's why I'm so reluctant to peek at my to-do list that started way before he came.

Normal? Who knows what that will be now.

Honestly, I have a feeling that normal isn't what God wants for any of us. Normal life probably really means a comfortable life, security, ease, a schedule... complacency? Now that I think about it, a normal life could be the result of holding on to my life, saving it. But, Jesus tells me that whoever tries to save her life will lose it, but whoever gives up her life will find real life. Jesus wants to take Rob, me, and Abel on a wild ride where our only security is that we have life eternal. Right now that wild ride is not what sounds nice, but I'm pretty sure it's what God wants for us.