Daddy's away

I've been a mommy for 5 weeks now. Fortunately, I've avoided the baby blues. All around things have been good. But, there has been one constant wonder in my mind. "What am I supposed to be feeling right now?" Do I love him enough? Do I love him like other mommies love their babies? A lot of times I don't feel the deep bond to him that I thought was instinct.

Rob's been away now for 3 days. He's in Washington D.C. with the Favor of God crew for Uganda Lobby Day. Friday I took him and Matt to the airport, got home, and instantly missed him like crazy. We've been apart before, but this time was different. Having sweet Abel sitting in my lap made me miss Rob more. He is 3/4 Rob, you know. He looks just like him except for his toes. Those chubby guys are mine.

Over the last couple of days, I just miss Rob more. But, Rob's absence has done a funny thing. It's brought me closer to my son too. I don't really know why. I feel a stronger bond. He's more precious. My love is deepening.