Tuesday, December 13, 2005


About once every four months, Rob and I will have a realization. It's the same thing every time with maybe only a little twist. No, actually there's no twist, it's always the same. Over and over we stop and confront ourselves with the fact that we still aren't giving God the priority that we want to. And, each time we come up with a solution to solve the problem. Obviously our solutions aren't working since we keep having this recurring realization. Our solutions are usually the same too. We need to give God more of our time.

Not time as in ministry because, let me tell you, we might be nearing the overdose mark in that area. I'm talking about time with God. Intimacy. I feel like that is the foundation. I need to know God as a friend, Father, and lover - as uncomfortable as that is to write. The only way to get there is to spend time with him seeking him through prayer and searching for him in his Word.

The times when I feel hunger and thirst for him to me is a signal of of health. I've heard that it's normal to have "desert times" when I won't feel God. I think people would even say that along with not feeling God, I might not want him either during an ok desert time. I'm speaking from the end, hopefully, of a year and a half long dry spell and think that it was mostly my fault and not the fault of a desert time. I know that I could have sought him so much more than I did. I didn't seek him like a precious jewel. I know that other things like my husband began to be my treasure even though I never wanted them/him to be. I maintained a hunger to know God and be close to him, but the hunger wasn't strong enough to make me more committed.

Well, here I stand after another realization moment with my husband, and again we both want to draw nearer to God. We're SO blessed because we both aren't working for the next month. Of course, a month off doesn't stay a month off for long as the schedule floods with activities. But, we have a great opportunity to practice giving God the firstfruits of our time for at least a month. We're committing to an hour a day with God to get to know him better. I'm excited. Hopefully, this one sticks and will become part of our normal lives when we do start working.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A Different Kind of Christmas

I love Christmastime. I love being able to bundle up and sit in front of a fire at Rob's parents' house. I love the Christmas music and Christmas decorations. I love it so much that I officially started Christmastime on Thanksgiving night. I figured that once the meal is over, Christmastime is fair game. I don't watch much TV at all, maybe one hour a week on average. But, during Christmastime, TV sounds fun because they have all the Christmasy themes. I even crave watching a soap opera because I know it would have the most cheesy and overly dramatic Christmas stuff. I like it.

But, every Christmas I think to myself, "This Christmas I want to really understand what it's all about." Christmas is a celebration of Jesus breaking into earth as a baby beginning his journey toward the cross. That is much more worthy of celebration than the world's idea of Christmas which is family, harmony, cheer, red and green, and fun old movies.

I decided a couple of years ago that in order to embrace the silliness of Christmastime, I'll just change the name. Let's call it Fuzzimas instead of Christmas. During this time we'll enjoy the fuzzy feelings that come from chestnuts and fires. It should be a fun, secular holiday that can remind us of family, giving, and good memories. We can enjoy Fuzzimastime with the same freedom that we enjoy the 4th of July (I guess that holiday does have significance though).

Then the whole entire year we'll dedicate to celebrating Jesus coming as a baby and what he accomplished. Let's make the navity scenes on our shelves normal, something to remember more than just once a year. Pastors can preach on Luke 2 more than just at Fuzzimastime. We'll still let the Santa Claus' and trees have their chance, but they only get Fuzzimastime once a year.

Actually, I don't know if I agree with myself. With Christmas/Fuzzimas being such a celebrated time for all people, it could be a great witnessing tool. In conversations about Christmas, we could tell people why it's special to us. Yeah, I definitely don't agree with myself. Let's keep Christmas focused on Christ. I still like Christmas decorations, but everything is better if it's giving glory to Jesus.

I'm so random right now.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Lovin' Life

My favorite times with Mrs. Grams are the times when she is connecting to life and living it to the full. (Mrs. Grams is my elderly friend with Alzheimers). Obviously, she is always living, but there are times when I can tell that she realizes her potential and runs with it. These times usually happen after we watch a movie together, after we share a good ice cream, or when she's just plain in a good mood.

When Mrs. Grams is pursueing life, she's fiesty, affectionate, social, and always teasing people. She will go out of her way to touch a baby and tell the mother how beautiful the baby is. She'll see a man across the room and just know that she needs to tease him. The other day we were in McDonalds (her staple food), and she saw a man. She said, "Let's go over and say something to him." I said "What do you want to say?" She said, "I don't know, we'll think of something." She got the itch to tease and couldn't resist. I don't know what she said, but I do know that he was smiling when she walked away. Who couldn't smile?

We were in the mall once and before I knew what was happening, she walked off in the other direction. She walked directly in front of a man. This man was walking very brisk and vigorously. He definitely had a mission on his mind. Well, Mrs. Grams rammed into him with her shoulder. No, she didn't just bump into him on accident; she was meaning to tease him and get a friendly reaction out of him. He didn't quite know what to do with that encounter, gave her a astonished face, and kept walking toward his mission. Mrs. Grams came back to me with a smirk on her face. I said, "What were you doing?" She answered, "I don't know." But, from the look on her face I could see that she thought it was the funniest thing ever. I agree. It still makes me laugh out loud.

She's awesome.