Parched

About once every four months, Rob and I will have a realization. It's the same thing every time with maybe only a little twist. No, actually there's no twist, it's always the same. Over and over we stop and confront ourselves with the fact that we still aren't giving God the priority that we want to. And, each time we come up with a solution to solve the problem. Obviously our solutions aren't working since we keep having this recurring realization. Our solutions are usually the same too. We need to give God more of our time.

Not time as in ministry because, let me tell you, we might be nearing the overdose mark in that area. I'm talking about time with God. Intimacy. I feel like that is the foundation. I need to know God as a friend, Father, and lover - as uncomfortable as that is to write. The only way to get there is to spend time with him seeking him through prayer and searching for him in his Word.

The times when I feel hunger and thirst for him to me is a signal of of health. I've heard that it's normal to have "desert times" when I won't feel God. I think people would even say that along with not feeling God, I might not want him either during an ok desert time. I'm speaking from the end, hopefully, of a year and a half long dry spell and think that it was mostly my fault and not the fault of a desert time. I know that I could have sought him so much more than I did. I didn't seek him like a precious jewel. I know that other things like my husband began to be my treasure even though I never wanted them/him to be. I maintained a hunger to know God and be close to him, but the hunger wasn't strong enough to make me more committed.

Well, here I stand after another realization moment with my husband, and again we both want to draw nearer to God. We're SO blessed because we both aren't working for the next month. Of course, a month off doesn't stay a month off for long as the schedule floods with activities. But, we have a great opportunity to practice giving God the firstfruits of our time for at least a month. We're committing to an hour a day with God to get to know him better. I'm excited. Hopefully, this one sticks and will become part of our normal lives when we do start working.