Reminiscing

Last week my sisters and I visited my parents in Wisconsin. One of my favorite parts of the trip was going to the farms where my mom and dad grew up. I loved trying to imagine them as little kids enjoying the wonders of such a thing.

This is the farm where my mom lived in Wisconsin.






Here's the Iowa farm where my dad grew up.





And then the farm where my grandma grew up.

Grandpa and candy

I don't really have memories of this, but my oldest sister remembers our Grandpa buying us these huge, magnificent lollipops. My dad decided to continue the tradition for her son, Dominic. There's something very magical about these suckers when you see them through the eyes of a 3 year old.

Envy

As gross as it is, I struggle with it. Envy.

Envy isn't wanting what someone else has. It's wanting to be better. It's mourning the success of others and feeling slightly secure at their failures. Envy has been a companion of mine for many years. Lately it has been much much better, but tonight it came back to say hi.

Rob came home and I made him sit down with me and talk me out of it. He tried to tell me to just drop it. I tried. That worked a bit, but really it was still there. The pride in me wants to think of all the reasons why I am better and therefore have no reason to be envious. Nope, that's not going to work. That's just as disgusting.

Rob, tell me why I shouldn't be envious from a God perspective. So we talked about the idea of kingdom building versus Babel building. I can focus on building God's kingdom or I can focus on building my own. When I focus on my own masterpiece, along comes envy, pride, and fear to help in the process.

When I focus on building God's kingdom, it becomes important that those around me be the best they can be, even if it is better than me, because the more talent the better. With my own Babel, I get bummed when others succeed. With God's kingdom, I should get bummed when people aren't succeeding at the gifts God has given them.

I'm feeling a lot better. It's amazing how burdensome and corrosive envy is compared to the freedom of humility.