Envy
As gross as it is, I struggle with it. Envy.
Envy isn't wanting what someone else has. It's wanting to be better. It's mourning the success of others and feeling slightly secure at their failures. Envy has been a companion of mine for many years. Lately it has been much much better, but tonight it came back to say hi.
Rob came home and I made him sit down with me and talk me out of it. He tried to tell me to just drop it. I tried. That worked a bit, but really it was still there. The pride in me wants to think of all the reasons why I am better and therefore have no reason to be envious. Nope, that's not going to work. That's just as disgusting.
Rob, tell me why I shouldn't be envious from a God perspective. So we talked about the idea of kingdom building versus Babel building. I can focus on building God's kingdom or I can focus on building my own. When I focus on my own masterpiece, along comes envy, pride, and fear to help in the process.
When I focus on building God's kingdom, it becomes important that those around me be the best they can be, even if it is better than me, because the more talent the better. With my own Babel, I get bummed when others succeed. With God's kingdom, I should get bummed when people aren't succeeding at the gifts God has given them.
I'm feeling a lot better. It's amazing how burdensome and corrosive envy is compared to the freedom of humility.
Envy isn't wanting what someone else has. It's wanting to be better. It's mourning the success of others and feeling slightly secure at their failures. Envy has been a companion of mine for many years. Lately it has been much much better, but tonight it came back to say hi.
Rob came home and I made him sit down with me and talk me out of it. He tried to tell me to just drop it. I tried. That worked a bit, but really it was still there. The pride in me wants to think of all the reasons why I am better and therefore have no reason to be envious. Nope, that's not going to work. That's just as disgusting.
Rob, tell me why I shouldn't be envious from a God perspective. So we talked about the idea of kingdom building versus Babel building. I can focus on building God's kingdom or I can focus on building my own. When I focus on my own masterpiece, along comes envy, pride, and fear to help in the process.
When I focus on building God's kingdom, it becomes important that those around me be the best they can be, even if it is better than me, because the more talent the better. With my own Babel, I get bummed when others succeed. With God's kingdom, I should get bummed when people aren't succeeding at the gifts God has given them.
I'm feeling a lot better. It's amazing how burdensome and corrosive envy is compared to the freedom of humility.
posted by Leah at 10:32 PM
3 Comments:
Thanks for sharing Leah. Maybe we can talk about stuff in our lives soon.
I know the feeling girl. I'm right there with ya.
Sometimes it passes. And some times it festers and then passes. sigh..... Love ya
i think most folks struggle with envy at times. you're an amazing, loving and beautiful person. if you're envious of others, just imagine how other's may be envious of you...think of what you already have.
-a loving God who cares for you
-a loving husband who adores you
-a cutie pie baby boy who needs you
-lots of family and friends who appreciate you.
love you and miss you. give me a BIG hug next time you see me, k.
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