Have and Have not

You are alive today for one reason, one purpose. And that is for the glory of His name.

You may have an awesome job today, but that's not why you were kept alive.
You may hang out with great friends, but you weren't given this day for that.
You may have a spouse and children, but that's still not your primary purpose.

You may hate your job as it brings you so much pain. Praise God because that's not what defines you.
You may feel so lonely and left out. Praise God because that's not what gives you worth.
You may long for a spouse and children and feel like it will never happen. Praise God because you can still fully glorify him.
And, that's why God sustained you through the night to open your eyes and breath this morning.

I'm not saying we shouldn't have good things. Enjoy your awesome job, friends and family. I'm thankful for those things. But, often as I enjoy them, I grow so accustomed to them. Then when they're taken away, I doubt my purpose and worth. It seems silly.

Or, if you feel like you've never had those good things, you are waiting for your turn. Maybe you're in despair and never expect that chance. Lift your head because you are here for the glory of his name and not to enjoy good things. For his glory, not yours. That's true for the most fortunate and the least fortunate. Often it is the ones with the least who are able to grasp their true worth while the ones with the most are blinded and may never see. If you feel unglorified, praise God because you can more freely give it all to him!

A process

I suppose there are a lot of constants in my life lately, but one of them is some kind of pursuit that I can't quite articulate. It's a pursuit of God. It's a desire for complete freedom. It's a search for who God created Leah to be. It's a lot of confusion about how to get to those places.

I'm convinced that there's so much more out there for me to know and experience in God. I know because I see it in other people; I know the stories. I know with no doubts that I can be free on earth from many of the things that weigh me down. And I am pretty sure that I'm not living as the Leah that God had in mind. Some of the God-intended Leah comes through but not wholly.

I'm not discouraged right now. I am just in a process that won't take as long as I thought before.