A Monument
I realized something amazing today. Whenever I try to do something good for God, it will never ever work. Let me explain:
As I learn new things about being a Christian or as I hear about ways that other amazing Christians serve God, it always makes me want to do more for him and do incredible selfless things for him. I know my salvation is free with no works on my part. Still, in response to this great gift, I want to please him and give back. But, I fail almost every time. Or, I'll look like I succeed on the outside, but inside my heart's not in it and it ends up being just an action.
Does this happen to you?
Or, I'll read about some way that I should be living out my life for God. I'll want to. But, I know myself too well. I know that despite my extreme desire to follow through with this inspiration, I won't really have the courage to step out in this new way.
This has frustrated me and brought me to tears many times in the last 6 years or so. But, I keep trying because still I want so desperately to please God and do something for his kingdom. And, again I fail.
I'm reading this book called The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee. In one chapter he talks about this very struggle that I just explained. He's talking about Romans 7, about being free from the Law and yet the struggle that still remains. Remember the verse, "I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing." Yeah, I've read that a million times before. I always can relate, but I still keep on trying.
I learned today that this 6-year long struggle of mine is meant to bring me to the point of desperation. I'm supposed to finally realize that I'm powerless to do any of the good that I've been trying to do. Nee says that when we try to do something good for God, we put ourselves under the law. Instead, I need to stop trying to do good things....really, really stop trying and let God do the good things for me and through me. But, I just plain have to stop trying! 'Cause it won't work anyway, dangit!
Grace means that God does something for me; law means that I do something for God. Grace-good; Law-not good.
Woohoo!!!!! I'm going to try this. Actually, I'm going to stop trying and get out from underneath the law. I'm going to see if God will start to work through me like I've always wanted to do myself.
As I learn new things about being a Christian or as I hear about ways that other amazing Christians serve God, it always makes me want to do more for him and do incredible selfless things for him. I know my salvation is free with no works on my part. Still, in response to this great gift, I want to please him and give back. But, I fail almost every time. Or, I'll look like I succeed on the outside, but inside my heart's not in it and it ends up being just an action.
Does this happen to you?
Or, I'll read about some way that I should be living out my life for God. I'll want to. But, I know myself too well. I know that despite my extreme desire to follow through with this inspiration, I won't really have the courage to step out in this new way.
This has frustrated me and brought me to tears many times in the last 6 years or so. But, I keep trying because still I want so desperately to please God and do something for his kingdom. And, again I fail.
I'm reading this book called The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee. In one chapter he talks about this very struggle that I just explained. He's talking about Romans 7, about being free from the Law and yet the struggle that still remains. Remember the verse, "I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing." Yeah, I've read that a million times before. I always can relate, but I still keep on trying.
I learned today that this 6-year long struggle of mine is meant to bring me to the point of desperation. I'm supposed to finally realize that I'm powerless to do any of the good that I've been trying to do. Nee says that when we try to do something good for God, we put ourselves under the law. Instead, I need to stop trying to do good things....really, really stop trying and let God do the good things for me and through me. But, I just plain have to stop trying! 'Cause it won't work anyway, dangit!
Grace means that God does something for me; law means that I do something for God. Grace-good; Law-not good.
Woohoo!!!!! I'm going to try this. Actually, I'm going to stop trying and get out from underneath the law. I'm going to see if God will start to work through me like I've always wanted to do myself.
posted by Leah at 8:51 AM
3 Comments:
Leah,
thanks for the awesome post! as I've been studying romans this year, the light bulb finally clicked for me too.
i think many, many christians are under the same idea that "if i just try harder, i'll get it right next time..." and instead of embracing the desperation that Nee talks about, we flee it. someone wise said, "you can tell if you're living under the law or under grace by how tired you are."
i'm certain that the service that flows from a desperate heart will have a different flavor & more power.
Leah I love you. I enjoy seeing God work in you and through you. I believe that He will use you where He has you. He is truly the only one in control. And He wants to accomplish His will through you and us all.
Blessings in Christ to you Always Sis... simply, Blessings!
Post a Comment
<< Home